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This photo perfectly describes how I feel right about now. Not just about one thing, but EVERYTHING in my life. The main ones are school and relationships. When it comes to school, I am so sure that I’m not sure of what I believe I’m so sure about. I have no clue if that makes sense, but if it doesn’t I basically mean that I want to be an engineer, but I’m not sure that I’m being truly honest with myself. I love engineering and the things I could do with this degree, but part of me wishes I went to school for medicine or law. Part of me also wishes that I stuck with soccer or did theater longer and maybe could have done something with that. Especially for theater I never tried hard enough and when I cared it was too late. I regret not doing it sooner and more consistently. I love my life, but I’ll always have that what if. Not to toot my own horn, but I am a very intelligent person. Not just book smart, but everyday smart. Idk if that makes sense, I hope it does. Anyway, I’m intelligent, but I have wasted so much time being lazy that I feel that I have to stand my ground, and push through and succeed. If I don’t I won’t be a failure to anyone else, but myself. Although I may elevate myself higher run others (think I’m better than others) I find myself hating who I am. I refuse to live like that any longer. I have to adapt and overcome. When it comes to relationships, I suck. Either I am too nice to a girl or I’m too mean. I try to be this perfect guy, but I’m not and I end up ruining whatever chances I have with someone. I also have never truly cared for anyone that I have ever dated with the exception of two people. Unfortunately, both of those relationships ended in what I believed to be too short a time. I always tried to be there for every girl that I have dated, but I feel that it was never enough. Now I have someone who I have been talking to for quite some time, but I feel that it will not last. I feel that’s how it’s been playing out in my mind which is how it will most likely play out in life. Contrary to the belief that I am a total asshole. I do not date for sex, nor because I am lonely, but I date for love. What I mean by that is when I date someone, I commit myself to that relationship. To keep my partner happy and work to make sure the relationship is going in the right direction. I feel that those two failed romances have made me who I am today and not necessarily for the best. However, I find myself thinking of those two people from time to time and wishing I could either go back or that things would be different (one more so than the other). The shitty thing is that there are no genies, no real wishing wells, no 11:11 wishes, there is just the past, present and the future. The only thing one person can do is hope. So for now I have all the hope in the world, I just hope it’s good enough. So this photo is basically in a life surrounded by negatives (the dark in the photo). The way I look that it is no meter now dark things may get, just know that there’s always a light. You can always find a way out of the hole your in. It just may take you a little longer that you’d like. Come what may.. Stay thug.

This photo perfectly describes how I feel right about now. Not just about one thing, but EVERYTHING in my life. The main ones are school and relationships.

When it comes to school, I am so sure that I’m not sure of what I believe I’m so sure about. I have no clue if that makes sense, but if it doesn’t I basically mean that I want to be an engineer, but I’m not sure that I’m being truly honest with myself. I love engineering and the things I could do with this degree, but part of me wishes I went to school for medicine or law. Part of me also wishes that I stuck with soccer or did theater longer and maybe could have done something with that. Especially for theater I never tried hard enough and when I cared it was too late. I regret not doing it sooner and more consistently. I love my life, but I’ll always have that what if. Not to toot my own horn, but I am a very intelligent person. Not just book smart, but everyday smart. Idk if that makes sense, I hope it does. Anyway, I’m intelligent, but I have wasted so much time being lazy that I feel that I have to stand my ground, and push through and succeed. If I don’t I won’t be a failure to anyone else, but myself. Although I may elevate myself higher run others (think I’m better than others) I find myself hating who I am. I refuse to live like that any longer. I have to adapt and overcome.

When it comes to relationships, I suck. Either I am too nice to a girl or I’m too mean. I try to be this perfect guy, but I’m not and I end up ruining whatever chances I have with someone. I also have never truly cared for anyone that I have ever dated with the exception of two people. Unfortunately, both of those relationships ended in what I believed to be too short a time. I always tried to be there for every girl that I have dated, but I feel that it was never enough. Now I have someone who I have been talking to for quite some time, but I feel that it will not last. I feel that’s how it’s been playing out in my mind which is how it will most likely play out in life. Contrary to the belief that I am a total asshole. I do not date for sex, nor because I am lonely, but I date for love. What I mean by that is when I date someone, I commit myself to that relationship. To keep my partner happy and work to make sure the relationship is going in the right direction. I feel that those two failed romances have made me who I am today and not necessarily for the best. However, I find myself thinking of those two people from time to time and wishing I could either go back or that things would be different (one more so than the other). The shitty thing is that there are no genies, no real wishing wells, no 11:11 wishes, there is just the past, present and the future. The only thing one person can do is hope. So for now I have all the hope in the world, I just hope it’s good enough. So this photo is basically in a life surrounded by negatives (the dark in the photo). The way I look that it is no meter now dark things may get, just know that there’s always a light. You can always find a way out of the hole your in. It just may take you a little longer that you’d like. Come what may.. Stay thug.

High-res 4/4/11 — 1:08am Short URL: http://tmblr.co/Zu2ahx42G-MK